I have a new website! www.robrough.com

www.robrough.com

ROB'S BLOG - REST IN PEACE

It's official. I have one thing, too many, to update and keep track of. The blog's gotta go. I am writing this with the knowledge that no one, except MAYBE Christopher and Kelly, will read this.

I aspire to be like my husband who is so digitally connected, I wonder if he is actually part of the Matrix.

I am keeping my gallery page up. You can find that at http://gallery.mac.com/rrough#gallery.

If you read this, e-mail me and let me know. I would be totally shocked if anyone responds.

One Word

1. Where is your cell phone? desk

2. Your fantasy? censored

3. Your hair? disappearing

4. Your mother? ironing

5. Your father? designing

6. Your favorite thing? paper

7. Your dream last night? significant

8. Your favorite drink? coffee

9. Your dream/goal? showing

10. What room you are in? studio

11. Your hobby? designing

12. Your fear? inattentiveness

13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? here

14. Where were you last night? studio

16. Muffins? no

17. Wish list item? Tree-house

18. Where you grew up? Toledo

19. Last thing you did? oatmeal

20. What are you wearing? jeans

21. Your TV? heavy

22. Your pets? alive

23. Friends? important

24. Your life? full

25. Your mood? happy

26. Missing someone? yes

27. Car? driveway

28. Something you're not wearing? underwear

29. Your favorite store? SoCo

30. Your favorite color? Calcified-copper

33. When is the last time you laughed? minutes

34. Last time you cried? Milk

35. Who will resend this? yes

36. One place that I go to over and over? bookstore

37. One person who IMs me regularly? Goose

38. My favorite place to eat? Booth

39. Why you participated in this survey? tagged

40. What are you doing tonight? yoga

41. Favorite animal? human

42. Beach or Mountains? mountains

43. Cake or Pie? pie

44. You? smiling

Losing the Beard and Rydell High

I finally shaved off my beard. I said I would when I hit 200 pounds. That's officially the 50-pound mark. It's a trip to observe the aging process. It's been at least 5+ years since I have not had facial hair and last time my face was a giant balloon. Now that it's shrank a bit, there are a few wrinkles and a couple sags. You know, it doesn't bother me - in some ways, I kind of like it. But don't mistake this as an invitation to look like Ghandi any time in the near future. I am now a regular purchaser of high-end moisterizers for life.

Recently, I helped paint sets for a local high school musical of Grease. What a trip it was to watch the theater kids rehearse. I was flooded with memories of Central Catholic High School. My therapist is back on speed dial.

I was having a not-so-productive afternoon at work the other day and changed my wallpaper on my computer so it would look like a window that you can see through. (see pic) I hope my boss doesn't read my blog!

E-mail vs. iPhone vs. Facebook

I am having communication option overload. But Teaya, my Uncle Walt's wife, e-mailed me and noted how horrifically out-of-date my blog was. She's right. Facebook took over during the holidays - after beating-out my iPhone as the primary chatting tool. How do people keep up with it all? My husband, Christopher, can update his Facebook profile while updating his iTunes, watching YouTube while talking on his phone about his next social function.

So, I am doing my best to get with it and add some more ditties to this site. Today's strategy is taking a break from work with my laptop and hanging-out at Starbuck's.

I think I am going to hand-write a note and send it in the snail mail to someone just to see if it still works. I wonder if there's an application on my phone that will adhere the stamp to the letter for me...

25 Random Things About Me

1) I have reoccurring dreams about tornados, vampires and biting fish. The tornado and vampire dreams are never scary – they’re exciting. I have an incredible fascination with severe weather. Biting fish, on the other hand, freak me out – completely.

2) I love to delete chain e-mails. Every time you hear about a little girl in Africa on an iron lung that ran out of rice – it’s my fault. I didn’t forward the e-mail to ten of my best friends.

3) Power tools make me giddy. Home Depot is intoxicating. I love to build things.

4) I don’t like milk. No, I don’t want to try soymilk. Creamy textures give me the heebee-jeebees. I don’t even like guacamole for that reason. I run from mayonnaise.

5) I have no sense of direction. None. I need a Tom-Tom to find my way back from the bathroom.

6) I didn’t always know I was gay. Everyone else did, though.

7) I have never bought anything from QVC or an infomercial.

8) I have a goal to never see the movie “Footloose” before I die.

9) Being an uncle, rocks.

10) I am not a phone person and am notorious for taking three months to answer an e-mail. (But I never throw them out until I have responded… seriously.)

11) I love to paint and draw. Don’t ask me to make a ceramic bowl unless you have a forklift handy.

12) As a teenager, I pierced my ear every time I got drunk.

13) Speaking of that – I got drunk a lot. My left earlobe could strain spaghetti due to all of the holes in it.

14) I love to organize things. I could make this list just as fast with a label maker.

15) Timelines are great. I have a journal where I mark significant events in my life. It starts in 1966 and goes to today.

16) I am a lazy cook.

17) I loose lots of weight on years that end in the number eight.

18) One time, I got to get everyone at work a half a day off because I farted. I’ll have to tell you that story in person.

19) I want my ashes to be sprinkled in the Smokey Mountains of Tennessee.

20) I think Cedar Point is one of the greatest influences on my life. I have a LOVE to old-school amusement parks and retro rides. I still revert to 7-year-old behavior when I hear the “click-click-click,” roars and screams of a roller coaster.

21) My Uncle Walt was my favorite babysitter as a little kid. I had no idea that he used to make me beg for free cookies at Zindorf’s Bakery so he could spend the cookie money, left by parents, on éclairs all for himself.

22) I can write databases for hours, loosing track of time and forgetting to eat.

23) I HAVE to cut the tags out of my shirts. They drive me crazy if they touch my neck.

24) One of my favorite sounds is an oscillating yard sprinkler on a summer day.

25) I am madly in love with my husband, Christopher. We have been together for over 19 years.

PICK THE SECOND FEATURE!

For our second feature movie on Saturday, January 17th, you can pick from three documentaries. Here's what we've lined up:

After Stonewall:
Melissa Etheridge narrates this documentary that explores the progress and challenges of the post-Stonewall lesbian/gay rights movement through archival footage and interviews with leaders such as Barbara Gittings, Armistead Maupin, Jewelle Gomez and Dorothy Allison. The film chronicles key events from 1970 to the end of the 20th century, including sexual liberation, conflicts with the feminist movement, AIDS and political organization.

Celluloid Closet:
Narrated by Lily Tomlin, this acclaimed documentary takes its name from Vito Russo's groundbreaking book. The filmmakers examine the subtext of more than 100 Hollywood movies -- including Spartacus, Rope and Thelma and Louise -- and chart the cinematic journey of lesbian and gay characters. Film clips are paired with director, producer and actor interviews featuring, among others, Gore Vidal, Tom Hanks and Whoopi Goldberg.

Before Stonewall:
Life was very different before the 1969 Stonewall riots put the issue of gay rights front and center in America . Using archival films and interviews with gays and lesbians who were forced to hide their sexuality for fear of reprisals, this documentary by Robert Rosenberg, Greta Schiller and John Scagliotti sheds light on American gay life from the 1920s to the 1960s and the sociopolitical climate that finally led to profound change.

The day after the Nike Human Race 10K

We did it! But what kind of ribbon do you get for coming in 152,151st? And once again, my arch nemesis Gunther Weidlinger of Munich, Germany came in first. Some day, Gunther, I will beat you. Also coming in ahead of me is my former friend, and roommate Jon Medina.

Here's what makes this so funny. In preparation for this race I have been running my butt off for over three months, lost an additional 20 pounds and have eaten dirt and twigs with a side of arugula for every meal. Jon, on the other hand, has been telling me over a pint of Haggen Daas ice cream that he really should get out there and at least try to run - once. But he hasn't had the time to train. Skinny, young people... grrrrr.

Actually, I am quite proud of myself. This is a big deal. When I topped-out at 250 pounds a few years ago, I thought my days of running were a thing of the past. When we moved to Austin a year ago, both Christopher and I decided to reclaim our health. Back in May, Christopher had lap band surgery and since then, has lost 40 pounds! I thought this would be the perfect time for me to get back into action.

I can see why people get hooked on these races. Of course, I'm an addict - and anything worth doing is worth OVER DOING! So I am registered to run in my next 10K, in November, when I visit Sacramento. The challenge is to beat my previous time. That means I am only competing against myself (plus Gunther and Jon).

Thanks for all the encouragement and support via e-mail and facebook! It really helped - thank you!

See more pics of the race by clicking here.

Good Morning from the Surface of the Sun

Ahhhh... it's 75º outside. Lovely. It is also about 8:45 in the morning and in the shade. I think I have about 15 minutes before the day starts heating-up. Today, we're expected to hit 105º. I think I am going to make quesedillas on the surface of the driveway around 4 PM if you want to come by.

I am sitting here enjoying that feeling you have when you pull-off something huge. Yesterday, we had movers move out a roommate's belongings, finished painting a bedroom, had the carpets cleaned, had a new roommate and friend move in from our fellowship and then... went to Home Depot to haul plywood to the Queer Idol Talent Show fundraiser and built the stage and played stage-hand for all 18 acts. (By the way, Christopher sang in the show and did great!) After the show, we went out to eat. So let's see, movers were scheduled to arrive at 8 AM and I finally went to bed at 2:30 AM.

You know, as sore as I am today, it is all worth it. Seeing all the people come together for an event like this and celebrate EVERYONE'S sobriety and desire to change their lives is worth every bit of effort.

Another great side story. Out of the blue I received an e-mail from a long-lost friend. Her name is Kim and I worked with her in a coffee shop in Mountain View, CA back in 1991! We used to have so much fun there - dancing around to the "Eurythmics" and "Dee-Lite" while serving lattes BEFORE the Starbuck's invasion. Yes, children, let's sit around the fire and talk about a time when most coffee shops were independently owned and didn't have a mermaid on the cup...

I can't wait to see how Kim's life has unfolded over the past 17 years! One great thing I know is that she, and here husband Ford, are still together and going strong! They met at Red Rock Coffee when the three of us worked there! Here's a picture she sent of us the two of us out in front of the store. I wonder who was attending to the customers? We were good at dancing - but sometimes forgot why we were supposed to be there.

Sunday in the Studio

It's 2 PM and I am finally out in the studio working on my latest couple of paintings. I tried and tried and tried to get out here yesterday - but nope. I LOVE to work out here - but it's a challenge to make the time. When I was finishing my degree - there wasn't a choice. Paint or you don't pass. Now, I have to set my own deadlines and work ethic in the studio.

I am still shooting to apply for my Masters this January. In order to do so, I have to have a "show" of 12-15 cohesive works. As a result, I am noticing that I spend a LOT of time on my work. I think there are about three paintings in each piece. I go over them and over them and add and add and add. I was hoping that I would develop a less "worked" style - but I don't think that's me.

As a kid, I loved Highlights magazine's hidden object drawings. You know, the one where you had to find a frying pan in the tree? (Unless some lame kid in the same doctor's office waiting room didn't circle it first... I digress.) Well, that's kind of like my work. I don't hide objects in there, but story lines.

We'll see what happens. Now I need to get off this computer and get working!

I am a 1/2 cup codependent

Christopher had his lap band surgery almost two weeks ago. (If you want to more about how that works - see his blog link on this site.) Oh my God - I have become such a nag. "Are you chewing your food all the way?" "Did you take your multivitamin?" "Is that a half a cup or 3/4 of a cup?"

CJ's doing great - and goes back to work next week. Here's an excerpt from an e-mail I sent our friend Doug regarding the first few days:

Tuesday 5/20: Seven I.V. attempts before they got the vein. CJ looks like he's been slamming heroin with drinking straws. Operating goes smooth. We have lovely pics of his liver and stomach with new lap band. Nice liver according to the doctor. I wonder where he got it. Spend the night in hospital and watch CJ watch American Idol on pain killers. Suddenly David Archuleta is less annoying to him.

Wed, 5/21: go home (Rob is off all week) CJ sleeps. Drinks broth. Sleeps.

Thurs, 5/22: Rob eats all of CJ's leftover food he can't eat anymore while CJ is sedated. Then, debates getting lap-band, too, if he eats one more thing.

Friday, 5/23: CJ has not moved from the couch in two days except to go to the bathroom. A lot. What goes in - comes out. Very little change in between. CJ starts the get dehydrated.

Sat, 5/24: Repeat Friday 5/23.

Sunday, 5/25: CJ wants to get the hell out of the house. We go to 11 AM AA meeting. CJ sleeps through whole meeting. Decides it's time to go off pain killers.

Monday, 5/26: CJ is now bitchy and wants a steak. He's already lost 12 pounds.

Tuesday, 5/27: Rob comes out from behind the couch (where he eats out-of-sight) and runs to work. CJ tries to go to work and turns around on the way there. Too soon.

Wed, 5/28: CJ is back at home eating bananas and sipping Gatorade to address the dehydration. Now he's hydrated and has a taste for soft foods. It's giddy times when I make him mashed potatoes and canned chicken. You'd think the 1/2 cup he had was Thanksgiving dinner.

Thursday, 5/29: CJ tries work again and has to cut it short. Spirits are high and internal stuff seems to be settling down. Now he's a giant walking bruise with itchy staples. But that will heal.

Sunday = A Back Porch + A Good Book

I love sitting on my back porch. Here's a picture of it over my shoulder (I am taking this picture with my laptop camera.) The yard's still not a lot to look at, but that has to wait until next month before we start the fence. It's my sanctuary. I think I will even work on a painting out here today.

I just finished "To Kill a Mockingbird" by Harper Lee. I have never read it before and I can see why it is considered a mandatory read in most schools. I got to the end and wasn't ready to stop. I wanted to continue to hear Scout's grown, adult voice narrate to me. So I actually flipped back to the first chapter and re-read it. I am glad I did. The book comes full circle and I wouldn't have remembered some great details if I wouldn't have re-read the first few paragraphs. If you haven't read it yet - I encourage you to do so. If you have, and it's been a while, I bet you will appreciate it even more a second time through.

42 years and one day later...

Oh that husband of mine. Yesterday was my birthday and he texted EVERYONE we knew to have them wish me a happy 45th birthday. First of all - thanks to everyone who sent messages and called. My phone kept running out of juice because of it ringing all day. I sure am blessed with a lot of good friends.

But, to clarify - I AM 42! NOT 45! Now mind you, I do not have any issues about getting older. Really! I never lie about my age. I think 40+ is great, it seems like life has just begun!

In the spirit of truth in age reporting, Christopher is 44 and will turn 45 on Sept. 26. He was born in 1963. That's not what he'll tell you! He LOVES to lie about his age and say he's older! How twisted is that? He usually adds anywhere from 4 - 6 years. That way, people say, "You look great for your age!" That's my guy... and I was the one who had a previous career in public relations. He missed his calling.

Once again, thanks for all the great birthday wishes. It was especially nice to hear from all of our out-of-town friends that we haven't seen in a while. We miss y'all very much and want to pack you up and bring you to Austin!

It's March 1st and the leaves are coming

I'm convinced that the world would be a better place if we all had back porches. Right now, I am on a slab of potential - but hey, it's my slab and I love it. To my right is a hot cup of press pot coffee and in front of me is Uno in a cage. He's not an outdoor cat, so this is a big field trip for him. He's just sniffing and sniffing and sniffing. I think he's enjoying this just as much as I am.

The birds here are singing like mad. At night, it's crickets and cicadas. I loved California - but it has nothing on this when it comes to sounds.

So the back yard has lots of potential. But that's about it. We do have some nice trees in the middle - I really need to find out what the hell they are before my mother asks. Then there is the ground cover that's coming in. I think it's ground cover. Or maybe it's just really pretty weeds. As you may have figured out by now - I don't know jack about landscaping and gardening. But, I am learning! I have many new books. So far, I have discovered what a thatch rake is and know how to use it. Baby steps.

I just completed a new painting and donated it to a local fundsraiser for an AIDS health care facility. It was going to be based on the song "Night Swimming" by R.E.M. but when I started painting it, is ended-up looking like broad daylight. Here's the artist statement I sent along with it:

"To me, memory is not like a snapshot – it stratifies events into layers of importance and prominence. Precise rendering gives way to drips and washes that erode the images beneath them. It’s my hope that the viewer finds the translucent images similar to an archeological dig – as you dust off one layer, something else is revealed. It’s those fragments of memory that insist upon reemerging that I find so fascinating."

Our kitchen threw-up into the living room

I have entered that manic phase of home organizing. Everything in its place and a place for everything! Christopher just walks into the room and shakes his head at me at this point.

My latest organizing conquest was the kitchen. I decided to take everything out of the kitchen, THEN put it back. Look, that's what the organizing lady on Oprah said - so it must be true.

So, if you ever wondered what our entire kitchen looks like all laid out end-to-end, your wait is over.

Lambda Art Auction

Our Lambda group has an annual art auction fundraiser. The challenge is that everyone who participates gets a similar object. In past years it has been a mirror or a bench. This year, it was a high-heeled shoe. Here's what I came up with.

Which box has my underwear?

I think our boxes of crap multiplied while they were in storage.

We have finally moved into our new house and emptied all three storage units. You cannot move in our two-car garage the boxes are piled so high. And this was the stuff we decided to KEEP! On a positive note – it’s kind of Christmas. I keep opening boxes and saying things like, “Look at this vase! It’s cute!”

It’s been a while since some of these things have seen daylight. Our home for the past three years in California was a major fixer-upper. Nearly the entire time we were there, one could always see a ladder, a bucket of paint and some sheetrock, somewhere. Our new place is so new and clean. I don’t know what to do with myself!

Our AA fellowship in Austin has been great to us. They’ve helped us move – twice! Outside of that, we’ve been hiking, to shows, out to dinner and coffee, hanging out in homes – you name it. We miss our friends in Sacramento, but have to say – we are not lacking for new ones here. It’s made all the difference in the world. The other night we had some of the boys over from the meeting to watch “Die Mommie! Die!” It was fun to have the house filled with laughter and the smell of a coffee pot going full steam. And in the background was the sounds of Miss Daniel and his sewing machine, tailoring gowns for the high-end couture salon he works for. He had this one skirt with real stingray panels in it. This was a $4,200 skirt. Yes, a skirt that costs more than the resale value on my car, I believe. All’s I can say, is for $4,200… that better be the one that killed the Crocodile Hunter!

Right now I am on the bus to work. But this coach is waaaay nicer than the one we took in from our apartment. Now that were out in the burbs, we catch the express bus from the Park-and-Ride. These ones go non-stop to campus and have wi-fi! So I can click away at my laptop on the way in! Although I already have indelible memories of the 1M route we took the past few months. It runs up-and-down the major drag in Austin and you see EVERYTHING on that bus. College kids, certified crazies, professionals and people who are so pierced it looks like they tripped and fell into a fishing tackle box. But that’s Austin for you – they grow weirdos here like weeds. I love it!

Click here to our new house photos.
That is not our furniture in the pics. That’s the previous owners. Right now, we have a lot of acquired chairs from garage sales in the living room to hold us over till we find the right couch. So our living room looks a bit like an airport gate at the moment.

That’s all for now – getting ready to get off the bus.

Oh... one more thing. Our new address is:

12518 Zeller Lane
Austin, TX 78753

Grady's Doing Great

Grady is really coming along. He's been gaining weight - going from 6 lbs. 1 oz. to 6 lbs. 8 oz. already!

Ted, Amy and Ryley are making multiple trips to the hospital every day to go spend time with him. Ryley has a regular routine of going to the hospital and reading Grady a "nite-nite" story.

If you want to see a couple more pics, check out my flicker site.

Welcome to the world, Grady Carrig Rough

On September 13, 2007 the newest addition to the family arrived one month AHEAD of schedule! Amy, my sister-in-law and brother Ted, had their second son, Grady, at St. Vincent's Hospital in Toledo, Ohio. This officially promotes Ryley, our 6 year-old nephew to Big Brother status.

As a precaution, the doctors decided that Grady should come early due to some recently noticed lower fluid levels in the womb. The lower fluid level makes it possible for the umbilical chord to get pinched and cut-off supplies to the baby. Grady weighs 6 pounds and 1 oz. - a good weight for a baby at 8 months term. His little lungs needs some help for the next few days as they continue to mature. So for right now he's on a respirator and getting enzyme treatments until he's strong enough to go it alone.

So far - so good. The doctors are watching him closely and he's getting good care. Stay tuned and I will fill you in on the rest of the details as they come in.

In the interim, Uncles Rob & Christopher are eagerly planning new ways to spoil the latest addition to the tribe. Last count, we have 4 nieces and 8 nephews. 8 on CJ's side and 2 on mine.

My Grandpa Rough

My grandpa died today. He was 89 and I was named after him. He was Robert R Rough, Sr. We've know for a while that he was getting ready to head on out and be with Grandma, but all the same - it makes you stop and think.

He was a good man. Having 9 children, I was to third eldest of 4,573 grandkids (estimate). I was one of the lucky ones who got to spend some time with him growing up. Here are some of the things I remember about him:

- He took naps on the green couch in the living room with a sunlamp and weird eye-covering goggles. He wasn't doing it for the tan, he probably read something - somewhere - that said it was good for you.

- He had a workshop in the basement where you could try to build anything. One of the toys he made for us kids was a wooden board full of hinges, locks and clasps. You could open and close its doors and see comic strips once you figured out the lock.

- He took us camping and on nature hikes. He would tell us about the leaves and how to identify trees.

- Before his knee surgery, he had to sit on the end pew at church and stick his leg out since it wouldn't bend. He always got the best seat that way.

- Chocolate peanut butter milkshakes. Say no more.

- He was a scout leader. Twice. He started-up the troop again so my cousin Scott and I would be able to be scouts. I wish I told him more often how much I appreciate that. I was a teenager back then and expressing gratitude for anything wasn't my strong suit.

- Most of all - he was patient. More often than not, we grandkids were not saints. But he loaded us up in the station wagon and took us everywhere grandma told him to.

Right now, he and grandma are together again. Probably sitting at the big Rough House dining room table together playing Scrabble.